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Old 09-10-2016, 09:33 PM   #41
GULAIYU
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This puzzle is called Lateral Thinking...
Just Check It Out!

Scroll down slowly and be honest to yourself. Think like a wizard;


man
1. ------------
board







Ans. = man onboard

Okay, let's see if you've got the hang of it.

stand
2. ------------
i






Ans. = I understand

OK...
Got the drift? Let's try a few now and see how you perform?

3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/g/









Ans. = reading between the lines



R
4. Road
A
D







Ans. = cross road


Not having a good day now, are you?
Redeem yourself.


5. cyclecyclecycle






Ans. = tricycle

Easy to figure out, ha!!!



0
6. _________
M.D.Ph.D.







Ans. = two degrees below zero (-2°)

C'mon give it a little thought !!!


knee
7. ------------
light








Ans. = neon light ( knee - on - light )


I'm sure you'll have no problem getting this one.

ground
8. ---------------
feet feet feet feet feet feet






Ans. = six feet underground


Good One, try this!!!

9. he's / himself







Ans. = he's by himself

Here's an easy one!!

10. ecnalg








Ans. = backward glance

Not even close ??? !!!


11. death ..... life








Ans. = Life after Death

Okay last chance .


12. THINK














Ans. = think big ! !


And the last one is very funny- - -


13. Ababaaabbbbaaaabbbbababaabbaaabbbb...










Ans. = long time no 'C'
😜😜😜😝😝😝😂😂😂


Dedicated to all my Intelligent friends 😃😀
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Old 14-10-2016, 11:48 AM   #42
GULAIYU
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SALARY INCREMENT
Government announce that if u have 5 kids your salary will be doubled. A man heard this news and said to his wife, i hav a kid with my girlfriend. Im going to bring him and add him to our 4 kids so that my salary can be doubled. When he came back, he found only 1 kid with the wife. He asked the wife where are the other 3 kids? The wife replied ""you are not the only one who heard the news. THEIR FATHERS HAVE COME TO FETCH THEM AS WELL.
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Old 16-10-2016, 08:28 AM   #43
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During a robbery in Guangzhou, China, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: "Don't move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you."

Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called "Mind Changing Concept” Changing the conventional way of thinking.

When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: "Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!"

This is called "Being Professional” Focus only on what you are trained to do!

When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): "Big brother, let's count how much we got."

The older robber rebutted and said: "You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!"

This is called "Experience.” Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications!

After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him: "Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”.

This is called "Swim with the tide.” Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!

The supervisor says: "It will be good if there is a robbery every month."

This is called "Killing Boredom.” Personal Happiness is more important than your job.

The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained: "We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!"

This is called "Knowledge is worth as much as gold!"

The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery.

This is called "Seizing the opportunity.” Daring to take risks!
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Old 01-11-2016, 11:44 AM   #44
GULAIYU
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Humour

A Chinese man and an Aussie guy were dining in a restaurant.

The Chinese man lifted his glass up and made a toast to the Aussie, “Kan Pei” !! The Aussie was confused and bemused, but he continued eating.

This happened a few times and the Aussie only nodded and silently continued to drink and eat.

Not long after, the Chinese man once again shouted, “Kan Pei” whilst lifting up his glass... This time, the Aussie put down his cutlery and angrily said to the Chinese man:

"It’s all right if you CAN’T PAY!” I'll pay! So just shut up. You dont have to announce to the whole world”.😂😂😂
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Old 01-11-2016, 04:44 PM   #45
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Tong pang your thread...........

Hillary Clinton goes to a gifted-student primary school in New York to talk about the world. After her talk she offers to answer questions from the kids.
One little boy puts up his hand. Hillary asks him what his name is.
"Kenny," he says.
"And what is your question, Kenny?" she asks.
"I have three questions," he says. "First -- what happened in Benghazi? "Second -- why would you run for president if you are not capable of handling two e-mail accounts? "Third -- what happened to that six billion dollars that went missing while you were Secretary of State?”

Just then the bell rings for recess.
Hillary tells the students that they will continue after recess.

When they resume Hillary says,
"Okay, where were we? Oh, that's right, question time. Who has a question?”
A different boy -- little Johnny -- puts his hand up.
Hillary points to him and asks him what his name is.
"Johnny," he says.
"What is your question, Johnny?" she asks.
"I have five questions," he says.
"First -- what happened in Benghazi?
"Second -- why would you run for president if you are not capable of handling two e-mail accounts?
"Third -- whatever happened to that six billion dollars that went missing while you were Secretary of State?
"Fourth -- why did the recess bell go off 21 minutes early?
"And, fifth -- where's Kenny?”

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Old 02-11-2016, 11:05 AM   #46
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There was a conference in France, where a dinner was hosted for all the dignitaries. Sitting at one table was Malaysia PM and next to him was the French Premier. When the dinner was serve, the French premier greeted the Malaysia PM, "Bon Appetti" and Malaysia PM will greet back " Najab Razak". And this goes on throughout the dinner. Until Malaysia PM assistant highlight to his PM that the French is trying to say "Good appetite". So the Malaysia PM quickly size the opportunity when the next dish is served. He greeted the French first, "Bon Appetti" and the French smile and replied "Najab Razak".

Last edited by Auratus; 02-11-2016 at 11:07 AM.
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Old 13-11-2016, 10:38 AM   #47
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One day in the future, Donald Trump has a heart-attack and dies.
He immediately goes to Hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do here," says the devil." You're on my list, but I have no room for you.

You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you.

I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."

Donald thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the first room.

In it was Barack Obama and a large pool of water. Barack kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over he dived in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell.

"No," Donald said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and it would ruin my hair.
I don't think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the door of the next room.
In it was Al Gore with a sledge-hammer and a room full of rocks.
All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
"No, this is no good; I've got his problem with my shoulder.
I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented Donald.

The devil opened a third door. Through it, Donald saw Bill Clinton, lying on the bed, his arms tied over his head and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.


Donald looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, "Yeah man, I can handle this."


The devil smiled and said..........

"OK, Monica, you're free to go."
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Old 19-11-2016, 12:00 AM   #48
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Natureman View Post
One day in the future, Donald Trump has a heart-attack and dies.
He immediately goes to Hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do here," says the devil." You're on my list, but I have no room for you.

You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you.

I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."

Donald thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the first room.

In it was Barack Obama and a large pool of water. Barack kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over he dived in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell.

"No," Donald said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and it would ruin my hair.
I don't think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the door of the next room.
In it was Al Gore with a sledge-hammer and a room full of rocks.
All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
"No, this is no good; I've got his problem with my shoulder.
I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented Donald.

The devil opened a third door. Through it, Donald saw Bill Clinton, lying on the bed, his arms tied over his head and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.


Donald looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, "Yeah man, I can handle this."


The devil smiled and said..........

"OK, Monica, you're free to go."
good one
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Old 22-11-2016, 03:35 PM   #49
richardg
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conditioning

Quote:
Originally Posted by Natureman View Post
One day in the future, Donald Trump has a heart-attack and dies.
He immediately goes to Hell, where the dev...

"OK, Monica, you're free to go."
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Old 01-12-2016, 03:24 PM   #50
GULAIYU
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*Punch Of D Day ....*
✨✨👊👊✨


*After 15 years of marriage, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her slowly and without blinking an eye, said:* *ABCDEFGHIJK.*
*"What does that mean?" she asked.*
*"Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fashionable, Gorgeous and Hot" he replied*.
*Smiling, she asked: What about IJK?*
*He replied: I'm Just Kidding!*
😜😛😍😄
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