Have a good laugh - Page 6

TigerKok · 08-12-2016, 04:08 PM

A lady walks into a fancy jewellery store. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently breaks wind.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her.

Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, "Good day, Madam How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may not have been there at the time of her little "accident!" she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?"

He answers, "Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you're going to shit when I tell you the price."

Natureman · 09-12-2016, 12:28 AM

Donald Trump wants the white house painted!
Chinese guy quoted 3 million
European guy
quoted 7 million
Malaysian guy quoted 10 million.
Trump asked Chinese guy how did you quote?
He said:
1 million for paint
1 million for labour
1 million profit.
He asked European?
He said :
3 million for paint
2 million for labour
2 million profit.
He asked Malaysian?
Malaysian said:
4 million for me
3 million for you
3 million will give it to the Chinese guy to paint.

Malaysian boleh!

sfchoong · 09-12-2016, 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Natureman

Donald Trump wants the white house painted!
Chinese guy quoted 3 million
European guy
quoted 7 million
Malaysian guy quoted 10 million.
Trump asked Chinese guy how did you quote?
He said:
1 million for paint
1 million for labour
1 million profit.
He asked European?
He said :
3 million for paint
2 million for labour
2 million profit.
He asked Malaysian?
Malaysian said:
4 million for me
3 million for you
3 million will give it to the Chinese guy to paint.

Malaysian boleh!

The Contract awarded to Malaysian

loveikan · 09-12-2016, 02:47 PM

Thank you for the joke.

GULAIYU · 26-12-2016, 07:00 PM

In a "Mental Hospital" a journalist asks the Doctor: How do you determine whether to admit a mental patient or not to?

Dr: "Well, we fill a bathtub with water and then give the patient;
(a). a teaspoon,
(b). a glass,
(c). a bucket,
and ask them to empty the bathtub."

Journalist: "Oh, obviously a normal person would use the bucket because its bigger."

Dr: "No, a normal person would pull the drain plug! Please go to bed No.39.
We will start further investigations on you too!"
........................................
😀😀 You also thought of the bucket, didn't you? Please go to bed No. 40 ! 😝

Forward quickly... There are still some beds available !!!

GULAIYU · 29-12-2016, 11:57 AM

Received a hilarious one for our generation.!!😍😜

*GRANDPARENTS' ANSWERING MACHINE* !

📠
Good Morning !

At present, we are not at home, but please leave your message after you hear the beep.🔅

Beeeeeppp...

● If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5 in order of "birth arrival" so we know who it is.

● If you need us to stay with the children, press 2.

● If you want to borrow the car, press 3.

● If you want us to wash your clothes and do iron, press 4.

● If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 5.

● If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 6.

● If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it delivered to your home, press 7.

● If you want to come to eat here, press 8.

● If you need money, press 9.

● If you are going to invite us to dinner or take us to the theatre, start talking...we are listening !

*I love it every time I read this* !
😊😊😊

GULAIYU · 05-01-2017, 07:46 PM

A little Boy wanted 500 ringgit so he prayed for weeks, but nothing happened.

Finally he decided to write a letter to God requesting for the 500 ringgit. When post office staff received a letter addressed to God, they decided to forward the letter to the Prime Minister Department.

The PM was so amused, so he instructed his secretary to send the little boy 100 ringgit as he thought 500 ringgit would be a lot of money for him.

The little boy was delighted with 100 ringgit & decided to write a thank you note to God.

Again the post office sent the letter to the PM Department.

PM reads the letter, which says:

'Dear God, Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that you have sent it through the Prime Minister Department & it appears that corrupt PM stole my 400 ringgit.

loveikan · 05-01-2017, 10:48 PM

Good one bro!

hkh · 06-01-2017, 12:46 AM

Yup, good one......and the little boy was lucky to get RM100 from Najib......

GULAIYU · 13-01-2017, 07:03 PM

CNY is coming up soon. There will be lots of eating and drinking. A friend introduced me a type of weight loss plaster. Just need to paste it. Very effective. The whole treatment is 7 days. Can lose up to 10kg weight. And it is not expensive. So I asked where do I paste the plaster?
He said at the mouth.😷

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08-12-2016, 04:08 PM	#51
TigerKok Arofanatic Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 209	A lady walks into a fancy jewellery store. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently breaks wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, "Good day, Madam How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may not have been there at the time of her little "accident!" she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?" He answers, "Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you're going to shit when I tell you the price."

09-12-2016, 12:28 AM	#52
Natureman Dragon Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 1,204	Donald Trump wants the white house painted! Chinese guy quoted 3 million European guy quoted 7 million Malaysian guy quoted 10 million. Trump asked Chinese guy how did you quote? He said: 1 million for paint 1 million for labour 1 million profit. He asked European? He said : 3 million for paint 2 million for labour 2 million profit. He asked Malaysian? Malaysian said: 4 million for me 3 million for you 3 million will give it to the Chinese guy to paint. Malaysian boleh!

09-12-2016, 02:47 PM	#54
loveikan Arofanatic Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 384	Thank you for the joke.

26-12-2016, 07:00 PM	#55
GULAIYU Arofanatic Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 111	In a "Mental Hospital" a journalist asks the Doctor: How do you determine whether to admit a mental patient or not to? Dr: "Well, we fill a bathtub with water and then give the patient; (a). a teaspoon, (b). a glass, (c). a bucket, and ask them to empty the bathtub." Journalist: "Oh, obviously a normal person would use the bucket because its bigger." Dr: "No, a normal person would pull the drain plug! Please go to bed No.39. We will start further investigations on you too!" ........................................ 😀😀 You also thought of the bucket, didn't you? Please go to bed No. 40 ! 😝 Forward quickly... There are still some beds available !!!

29-12-2016, 11:57 AM	#56
GULAIYU Arofanatic Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 111	Received a hilarious one for our generation.!!😍😜 GRANDPARENTS' ANSWERING MACHINE ! 📠 Good Morning ! At present, we are not at home, but please leave your message after you hear the beep.🔅 Beeeeeppp... ● If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5 in order of "birth arrival" so we know who it is. ● If you need us to stay with the children, press 2. ● If you want to borrow the car, press 3. ● If you want us to wash your clothes and do iron, press 4. ● If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 5. ● If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 6. ● If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it delivered to your home, press 7. ● If you want to come to eat here, press 8. ● If you need money, press 9. ● If you are going to invite us to dinner or take us to the theatre, start talking...we are listening ! I love it every time I read this ! 😊😊😊

05-01-2017, 07:46 PM	#57
GULAIYU Arofanatic Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 111	A little Boy wanted 500 ringgit so he prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Finally he decided to write a letter to God requesting for the 500 ringgit. When post office staff received a letter addressed to God, they decided to forward the letter to the Prime Minister Department. The PM was so amused, so he instructed his secretary to send the little boy 100 ringgit as he thought 500 ringgit would be a lot of money for him. The little boy was delighted with 100 ringgit & decided to write a thank you note to God. Again the post office sent the letter to the PM Department. PM reads the letter, which says: 'Dear God, Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that you have sent it through the Prime Minister Department & it appears that corrupt PM stole my 400 ringgit.

05-01-2017, 10:48 PM	#58
loveikan Arofanatic Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 384	Good one bro!

06-01-2017, 12:46 AM	#59
hkh Arofanatic Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 113	Yup, good one......and the little boy was lucky to get RM100 from Najib......

13-01-2017, 07:03 PM	#60
GULAIYU Arofanatic Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 111	CNY is coming up soon. There will be lots of eating and drinking. A friend introduced me a type of weight loss plaster. Just need to paste it. Very effective. The whole treatment is 7 days. Can lose up to 10kg weight. And it is not expensive. So I asked where do I paste the plaster? He said at the mouth.😷

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