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Old 01-03-2017, 11:31 AM   #71
striker78
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Thanks for sharing,,, made my day.
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Old 02-03-2017, 12:50 PM   #72
GULAIYU
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What is the Difference between Wife and Girlfriend?

Great Thought in Modified Version....

Wife is like a TV and Girlfriend is like a MOBILE.
At home u watch TV, but when u go out u take ur MOBILE.

Sometimes u enjoy TV.
But most of the time, u play with ur MOBILE.

TV is (as good as)free for life.But for the MOBILE, if you don't pay, the services will be terminated.

TV is big, bulky and most of the time old.
But the MOBILE is cute, slim, curvy and portable.

Operational costs for TV is often acceptable.
But for the MOBILE, it is often high and demanding.

TV has a remote.
But MOBILE doesn't.

Most importantly, MOBILE is a two-way communication (u talk and listen)
But with the TV, you MUST only listen (whether you want to or not)!!!!😝

Last but not least....!
Yet TV s are superior because
TVs don't have viruses, but MOBILEs often do....!!!!😂

Take Care.
Issued in Public interest!😃
.😂.😂.

For security reasons, I finally chose TV.👻
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Old 03-03-2017, 10:50 AM   #73
lenghan
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That's a nice one!!!!
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Old 03-03-2017, 03:08 PM   #74
longyi
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Nice one, now i can call my wife TV
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Old 03-03-2017, 06:04 PM   #75
ThomasLim
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GULAIYU View Post
TV has a remote.
But MOBILE doesn't.
Lol... all are so relevant only I don't understand what is the remote? Kids?
Thanks for sharing this nice joke
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Old 04-03-2017, 11:53 AM   #76
GULAIYU
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*Stamp Malfunction*

The US Postal Services created a stamp with a picture of President Trump. But the new stamp was not sticking to envelopes. This enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation.
After weeks of testing and $1.73 million in congressional spending, a special Presidential commission presented the following findings:
The stamp is in perfect order. There is nothing wrong with the adhesive. People are spitting on the wrong side.
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Old 11-03-2017, 06:50 PM   #77
GULAIYU
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Never on a Plane!

After a month-long holiday in US , my wife and I finally boarded the plane in San Francisco last Sunday heading home.

As the plane reached cruising speed with the seat belt sign switched off, a 6 ft 3" black man with the build of Mike Tyson in the front row got up from his seat, turned to face the back, raised his arm and yelled, "HIJACK!"

Everyone was frozen to the seat, expecting the worst to happen.

The two Air Marshals were about to jump on the guy and overpower him when another voice answered from the back of the plane: "HI JOHN!"

*The moral of the story is:*

*If you have a friend named Jack, for heaven's sake don't ever greet him on
the plane.*
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Old 11-03-2017, 07:41 PM   #78
GULAIYU
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$ 300 Armani Shoes

Luigi walks to work 20 blocks and passes a shoe store twice every day.
- Each day he stops and looks to admire the Armani leather shoes

- He wants those shoes so much..it's all he can think about.
- After 2 months he saves the price of the shoes, $300, and purchases them.

- Every Friday night Italian community holds a dance in the church basement - Luigi wears his Armani leather shoes for the first time.

- He asks Sophia to dance and they dance he asks her, 'Sophia, you wear red panties tonight?'

- Startled, Sophia replies, 'Yes, Luigi , I wear red panties tonight, but how do you know?'
- Luigi answers,'I see reflection in my new $300 Armani leather shoes. Do you like them?'

- Next he asks Rosa to dance, and after a few minutes he asks, ' Rosa , you wear white panties tonight?'


- Rosa answers, 'Yes, Luigi , I do, but how do you know that?'

- He replies, 'I see reflection in my new $300 Armani leather shoes... do you like them?'

- Now as the evening is almost over and the last song is played,

- Luigi asks Carmela to dance.

- Midway through the dance his face turns red..
- He states, 'Carmela, you stilla my heart. Please, please tell me you wear no panties tonight.

Please, please, tella me this true!'

- Carmela smiles coyly and answers, 'Yes Luigi , I wear no panties tonight...'

- Luigi gasps, 'Thanka God ....

- I thought I had a crack in my $300 leather Armani shoes !
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Old 17-03-2017, 10:01 AM   #79
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Today I met an Indian friend. He said
use chopstick and eat is not right. We
must use hand to eat. I thought it made
sense. So I decided to bring him for steamboat tonight.

Last edited by GULAIYU; 17-03-2017 at 10:02 AM.
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Old 23-03-2017, 06:07 PM   #80
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Man confessing to Priest via WhatsApp .....

Man : "Forgive me Father for I have sinned. I whatsapp dirty jokes, view pornography and oso view naked women's pictures on my smart phone."

Priest : "Forward all your sins to me."
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