Have a good laugh

[Natureman]

​Interview in a Govt Department under the Handicap Quota​

Interviewer: Are you handicapped?

Guy: Ya, I lost my balls in a bomb blast.

Interviewer: Ok, you are selected. Working hours will be from 9am to 5pm. Make sure that you are here at sharp 11am everyday.

Puzzled, the guy asks:- Why 11' O clock , when the timing is from 9 ?

Interviewer:- It's a Govt job, first 2 hours we just sit around scratching our balls..What will you do ? 💥

[Robson]

Originally Posted by Natureman

​Interview in a Govt Department under the Handicap Quota​

Interviewer: Are you handicapped?

Guy: Ya, I lost my balls in a bomb blast.

Interviewer: Ok, you are selected. Working hours will be from 9am to 5pm. Make sure that you are here at sharp 11am everyday.

Puzzled, the guy asks:- Why 11' O clock , when the timing is from 9 ?

Interviewer:- It's a Govt job, first 2 hours we just sit around scratching our balls..What will you do ? 💥

Definitely not singapore Govt service.

[Natureman]

Apartment For Rent
THIS IS TOO FUNNY ...
A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. They did their thing, and before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling
the payment 'RENT FOR APARTMENT.'

On the way to the office, he regretted that the whole event had not been worth the price. So he had his secretary send a check for $250 and enclose the following typed note:

Dear Madam:
Enclosed please find a check for $250 for rent of your
apartment . I am not sending the amount agreed upon,
because when I rented the place, I was under the
impression that:
#1 - it had never been occupied;
#2 - there was plenty of heat and water and
#3 - it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home.
However, I found out that:
#1 - it had been previously occupied,
#2 - there wasn't any heat and certainly no water, and
#3 - it was much too large for my comfort.
Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately
returned the check for $250 with the following note:

'Dear Sir:
#1 - I cannot understand how you could expect a
beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.
#2 - As for the heat and water, my apartment has plenty if you
know how to turn it on.
#3 - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture
to fill it, please do not blame the management.
So, Please send the rent in full or we will be forced
to contact your present landlady...
😁😁😁

[GULAIYU]

Kim Jong-un announced in a news conference that North Korea would be sending a man to the sun within ten years!

A reporter said - "But the sun is very hot. How can your man land on the sun?"

There was a stunned silence. Nobody knew how to react.

Then Kim Jong-un quietly answered "We will land at night".

The entire audience broke out in thunderous applause !

Back in the White House, Donald Trump and his entourage were watching the news conference on TV.

When Trump heard what Kim had said, he sneered - "What an idiot. There is no sun at night time !"

Now, his cabinet broke up in thunderous applause !!

[GULAIYU]

Funny side of Mahatma Gandhi . 😃

When Mahatma Gandhi was studying law at the University College, London, a white professor, whose last name was Peters, disliked him intensely.


One day, Mr. Peters was having lunch at the dining room when Gandhi came along with his tray & sat next to the professor.

The professor said,
"Mr Gandhi , you do not understand, *a pig & a bird do not sit together to eat.*"

Gandhiji looked at him as a parent would a rude child & calmly replied,
*"You do not worry professor. I'll fly away,"*
& he went & sat at another table.

Mr. Peters, reddened with rage, decided to take revenge.


The next day in Class he posed the following question:
"Mr.Gandhi , if you were walking down the street & found a package, & within was a bag of wisdom & another bag with money, which one would you take ?"


Without hesitating, Gandhiji responded, "The one with the money, of course."

Mr. Peters , smiling sarcastically said,
"I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom."


Mahatma Gandhi shrugged & responded, *"Each one takes what he doesn't have."*


Mr. Peters, by this time was fit to be tied. So great was his anger that he wrote on Mahatma Ghandi's exam sheet the word "IDIOT"
& gave it to Gandhi.

Gandhi took the exam sheet & sat down at his desk trying very hard to remain calm while he contemplated his next move.


A few minutes later, Mahatma Gandhiji got up, went to the professor & told him in a dignified polite tone,

"Mr. Peters, *you signed the sheet*, but you did not give me the grade."

Don't mess with intelligent people..

[GULAIYU]

Fight between husband and wife ......instead of resorting to shouting, abusing or physical force... they write poems to each other. .....

WIFE:
I wrote your name on sand it got washed..
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack.

HUSBAND:
God saw me hungry, he created pizza.
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi.
He saw me in the dark, he created light.
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.

WIFE:
Twinkle twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far

HUSBAND:
The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you?

WIFE:
Roses are red; Violets are blue
Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
Not in cage but laughing at you!! 😝😝

[globalcookie]

Originally Posted by GULAIYU

Funny side of Mahatma Gandhi . 😃

Don't mess with intelligent people..

Don't mess with indian.

YouTube Video

[GULAIYU]

Barak Obama and Donald Trump somehow ended up at the same barber shop, can you just imagine…

As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn nasty.

As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave.

But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel."

The second barber turned to Barak and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama ?"

Barak replied, "Go right ahead, my wife Michelle, doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like".

[GULAIYU]

A lady, with her little boy of 10 years, is eating in a restaurant. In an oversight, the kid swallows a coin and chokes.
The mother tried hitting his back, slapping on the neck, shaking him hard without any success to make him spit the coin.
Now the boy begins to show signs of choking turning blue. The desperate mother starts screaming for help.
A man gets up from a nearby table, and with astonishing tranquility, without saying a word, he lowers boys pants, squeezed and pulled down violently his testicles!
Naturally, the boy with irresistible pain spits out the coin. The gentleman with the same astonishing ease & tranquility returned to his desk without a word.
Soon the mother calmed down & approached the gentleman to thank him for saving his boys life.
She asked Sir, are you a doctor?
No, ma'am, I AM an assistant commissioner of the Income Tax Department.
We are trained to squeeze the balls of everyone to make them cough up the last penny.
😆😅😂😁

[GULAIYU]

Wife: What are your plans for Easter?
Husband: Same as Jesus..

Wife: What do you mean ??
Husband: I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!

Wife: That's AWESOME, if you do that, I'll also do like Mary
and show up pregnant untouched by my husband.

Husband stayed home all Easter