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Old 23-05-2016, 12:01 PM   #21
GULAIYU
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Mr. Lim shares with doc, "I feel just fine, doc. But you know, it's the strangest thing. Every night when I get up to pang jio (urinate), the bathroom light goes on for me automatically when I open the door!"

The doctor is worried that the old man is getting senile, so he phones the man's son, and the son's wife answers. The doctor tells her, "Mrs. Lim, I'm a little concerned about your father-in-law. It seems that when he gets up to urinate at night and opens the bathroom door, the light somehow goes on...
Mrs. Lim yells, "Ah Seng! Ah Pa pang jio in the fridge again!"
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Old 25-05-2016, 06:27 PM   #22
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Talking

Talk to mother lovingly

Talk to father respectfully

Talk to brothers heartfully

Talk to sisters affectionately

Talk to children enthusiastically

Talk to relatives empathetically

Talk to friends jovially

Talk to officials politely

Talk to vendors strictly

Talk to customers honestly

Talk to workers courteously

Talk to politicians carefully

Talk to God silently

Listen to WIFE .....no other option
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Old 27-05-2016, 03:55 PM   #23
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一師徒兩人開車跑長途,因口渴師傅令徒弟到村子里討水喝。一村婦在村邊井旁洗衣服,徒弟說:“大嫂!能否給 口水喝?”。“可以,但必須猜出一字”。說罷,將洗衣板放在頭頂,兩臂平伸,雙腿叉開。徒弟說:“這太簡單 了,是“天”字。大嫂說:“錯,是一個“吞”字。”徒弟回去后把沒有討到水的原因告訴了師父,師傅說:“看 我的”。師傅見到村婦說:“這位大嫂,難為我的徒弟就是你的不對了,這樣吧,我也請那猜一個字”。說罷,也 將雙臂平伸,雙腿叉開。“是個“太”字,”村婦答到。師傅大怒:“你也太小瞧我了,這是一個“ 木”字。
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Old 28-05-2016, 09:23 AM   #24
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Why Chinese Shouldn't Have English Name:

Caller: *Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?*
Operator: *Yes, you can speak to me.*

Caller: *No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!*
Operator: *you are talking to someone? Who is this?*

Caller: *I'm Sam Wan (someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent*.
Operator: *I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this Urgent matter about?*

Caller: *Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one) has been involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one) got Injured and now Noel Wan (no one) has been sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan (everyone) is on his way to the hospital*.
Operator: *Look! If no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!*

Caller: *You are so rude! Who are you?*
Operator: *I'm Saw Lee (sorry)*.

Caller: *Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!!* 😭😂👌👍👏
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Old 28-05-2016, 03:50 PM   #25
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Good one!
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Old 28-06-2016, 10:09 PM   #26
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An English teacher was teaching a group of elderly Hokkien, English. A young male ranch hand is "cowboy", a young female ranch hand is "cow girl".
Then she asked, "What are their parents called?" They answered, "cowpeh, cowboo."
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Old 02-07-2016, 03:43 PM   #27
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Old 01-09-2016, 09:48 AM   #28
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BREAKING NEWS

German scientists dug 50 meters down in the ground and discovered small pieces of copper.
After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nation-wide telephone copper wire network !

Russian government was not that easily impressed. They ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. 100 meters down they found small pieces of glass.
They quickly announced that 35,000 years ago, ancient Russians already had a nationwide fiber optics network !

Malaysian govt decided that they also Boleh. They dug 50 meters, found nothing. Dug 100 meters also nothing.
At 200 meters underground, they still found absolutely nothing. They thought for a while, then happily announced that
Malaysia 50,000 years ago had already gone wireless !!

Selamat Merdeka everybody !!!

MALAYSIA BOLEH!!!
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Old 01-09-2016, 12:04 PM   #29
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Hahahahahaha thanks for sharing
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Old 07-09-2016, 10:15 AM   #30
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This girl asked me " do u think I'm
Pretty or ugly?"
I told her she is both and she thanks
me for being so kind cos her ex only
says she is ugly.


But what I mean is she's pretty ugly.

Last edited by GULAIYU; 07-09-2016 at 10:18 AM.
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